alot has happened. it seems like alot always happens between each of my posts.. wow, ok so let me back up and try and fill in all the blanks ive been leaving.

i passed the 702. im A+ certified.

jesse and i have not only been talking but been nearly inseperable.
i thought leaving would make things get better.
and..for the most part they did.
but i couldnt get my mind off my past
off him.
and now that we're around eachother again
its like i never left...
its like he never hurt me
and everything that has happened
only shows up in my nightmares.

i failed out of CCNA
im going to the fleet undesignated.
and its my own fault.
i have orders to a ship in Norfolk Virginia.
an aircraft carrier- CVN 71 the USS Theodore Roosevelt.
(http://www.roosevelt.navy.mil/)
which btw is in overhaul until february of 2013.

ive been in holding waiting to leave.. my holding job has been cleaning the liberty center or MWR. ive been doing a fantastic job and actually my team and i have all gotten letters of appreciation from the liberty program manager.

jesse is considering his options. he doesnt like the idea of virginia and he also doesnt like the idea of us being commited to eachother from across the country... which totally makes sense considering that past i was talking about.
but we let ourselves feel for eachother again.
however we are both afraid of calling it feelings.

idk
i know we could be good for eachother eventually. do i think its right now? not particularly...
we had that conversation yesterday... the conversation about that i will be on the other side of the continental US ... and that he thinks itll be best if we see other people.. but he doesnt want anything to change before i leave.. he wants me to continue hanging out with him as if im not going to be alone in the very near future.

and then... theres my weight.
its not budging. itll take a serious fast for my weight to go down...
ive tried a few products to help with cellulite and whatnot.
bought a body wrap kit and lotions from this site http://www.goo4swap.com/5-15.htm .
im using the 3rd wrap around my stomach after work today.
and i havnt seen any difference

after i do these wraps though i do feel a burst of energy... last friday i went to the gym for 2 hours after i did my wrap routine. so i can tell something is happening with my body and its getting something from these products.

i started a notebook diary with qoutes and stuff to keep me occupied and motivated... i try to write in it often. especially when i feel like a binge is going to occur.

so yeah.. thats been my life as of recently.