" An underrated, unmotivated girl who feels as if everyone else's world falls down as she walks in the room. She has grown, but most likely in the wrong direction, due to the magnitude of certain situations that happened in her life. This has created an almost unbreakable shell that would counteract any occurrence of this magnitude from happening again, as well as brutal honesty. The main side affect is the virtual incapacity for commitment."
that's the description he-who-must-not-be-named feels is what i am worth.
...
he knows me more than anyone else, is it true?
i wish he didnt matter, im breaking down,
and i dont know what im dong to myself.
i keep finding good distractions, but i want to face this head on. i want to accept it.
how does one as co dependent as he trained me to be figure life out with out him?
im so broken and every chance hes had to help the trust issues have done nothing to help,
in fact im plummeting
when am i going to hit rock bottom?
at least from there i know, i know nothing can get worse.
i wish he didnt matter. i wish he hadnt made him my universe and then take it all away, leaving me in a darkness.
not just dark. but black. like the dark shadows id see in my room when i was a child that must be evil. and im in there, that evil dark shadow,
living and breathing evil. inhaling the monstrosity that is my life
the lies ive lived disgust me.
i wish he hadnt made himself my everything, leaving me with a gaping hole in my life. the rock foundation of my life quckly pulled out from under me like it were a carpet.
im breaking down.
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