i have been writing in my journal as often as i can... which mostly makes my blog obsolete. im trying really hard to keep the weight problem out of my mind which i think backfired... i officially weigh 130. i havnt weighed that in more than 4 years... but i feel confident that i can lose it.
i talked to jon about nutrisystem or weightwatchers microwave meals that really help with portion control.
i have hyroxycut also. with portion control, high water intake, and hydroxycut and a positive outlook... and alittle patience... i think i will be 105 without too much trouble.
i dont have my phone right now, the screen is cracked. all my thinspo was on there... so i think that has helped me calm down my anxieties about weight... but its a double edged sword because i see myself gaining weight and that makes me feel anxious that i need to lose weight and have more weight to lose.
i have been playing alot with my hair and have gotten good at a few styles.
and i have been obsessing about clothing alittle...
this is some of the things i think i would like.
and here is some thinspo i really like.
i like this one because it shows a whole journey to self control.
i want to get a scarification tattoo on my wrist for Jonathan, my fiance and the love of my life.
i am excited for the tattoo but my wrists are hypersensitive and it feels uncomfortable just to rub them...
i want something like that^^^^^
but with something like this design and his initials worked in or the date of our wedding hidden in... maybe not though... the idea going in such a small area means it shouldn't be extremely detailed... maybe ill put words on one wrist and a symbol on the other. idk.. im taking my time to find what i REALLY want. and what Jon will really think is special.
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