so, i made it to muster. IDK how. but i did...
i went back to kolton's last night we watched se7en for the first time, it was really fun. he returned my back massage. I LOVE physical touch. SO MUCH! that massage was nice. after the movie i fell asleep in his arms. also very nice feeling. he played with my hair. i havnt felt such sincere gentle touch in so long; jesse and i have been a fucked up relationship for so long i forgot what it was like to be liked by someone you havnt hurt.
idk if i want this. a relationship i mean. i think he and i should talk about it alittle. we like eachother its obvious. but do we want to deal with the promise of such a difficult relationship, with both of us in the navy for 4 years.
and possibly longer im still not sure what i want career wise...
would it be better if we agreed to be friends with benefits?probably. is there real caring in that or is it just sex at that point? idk. do i even want a fuck buddy with the jesse complication thrown in... probably not. is it far too soon to be thinking about fucking this guy? absolutely.
i guess we will talk
on another note, no letters from jesse yet. and school has started. i probably cant go into serious detail with that cause of security stuff... but its very difficult. we have already completed 3 chapters. its very fast paced and intense. and the funny thing is-this is exactly what jesse used to do for fun.. he should have taught me this stuff back when we used to hang out... oh well. that though crosses my mind all the time.
bruns finally got ahold of me, she was my rack mate in boot camp. we are probably going to hang out this weekend... i REALLY want to see her...
also, next weekend is the first weekend i have phase 2 liberty!!! woot woot off base!
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